Life after three miscarriages and everything in between...
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What kind of sourdough are you?
So you take these following smells: (I apologize to the non-Pac. Northwesterners in advance that don't get it) the "Aroma of Tacoma", the sewage plant smell in Renton that you smell as you're driving west on 405 towards Southcenter, "cow farm" smells, the most stinkiest possible cheese you could ever imagine, some really horrible flatulence, and ummm...baby poop...combine all that and you might possibly have the 'yeasty aroma' of Sourdough bread starter.
Have you ever made sourdough starter (i.e. the beginnings of sourdough bread) at home? The smell is horrid, absolutely horrid, but the most amazing thing is how it makes the most amazing bread, the bread that I absolutely LOVE. It just has to go through many processes to get to the most delicious, finished state. For 7 days you have to take a cup out of the starter and replace it with 1/2 c. water and 1/2 c. flour and stir, without fainting or vomiting. It's almost like pancake batter, with a almost alien-like spongy, bubbly texture.
Just like us, we go through a lot of stinky transitions, processes, learning curves, opportunities and slowly and sometimes painfully, we get transformed into a warm, crusty, nice thick slice of bread with some butter and jam smeared all over yourself. Or maybe you're a big bread bowl with some steamy clam chowder ladled into the middle, or a delicious grilled cheese sandwich with some extra sharp cheddar, or a cold BLT with avocado and mayonnaise. Or French toast, soft, warm, eggy crust, with maple syrup, powdered sugar, maybe some strawberries and whipped cream? Oh the possibilities...
In honor of our son, Garrison Isaac's passing in my womb at 19 weeks over 3 years ago (Jan 31st), I'm revisiting my blog and finally posting. I had forgotten I had actually put the following together in March 2014 and saved it as a draft that I just now discovered in my blog's folder. I never would have thought we would find ourselves in such a difficult journey then and now as we've had 2 more pregnancy losses in 2016. We're constantly leaning on God's guidance and protection through it all, that's the only way we keep our sanity :)
So here we are...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've compiled all the readings and order of service for Garrison's memorial together for everyone that would be interested to read. I know some of you were there, some weren't able to make it or some were far away in virtual internet land. It's a lot of text so don't feel compelled to read it all. Following th…
It's been almost a month since Garrison went to heaven. We're still healing, putting back the pieces of our new lives and continuing to move forward as God is showing us what's next. There are so many thoughts, memories, stories, and glimpses from our lives to share about our experience of losing him. In order to not overwhelm you with too much right now I will just share about what I know. I will always have opportunities to share more as time goes on and as God reveals more to us in the future but for now I'll tell you what I know.
I know that music is therapy. God can use music to heal our souls and speak to us in ways that normal words can't. This is and was the song that brought healing to us and is still the 'anthem' to Garrison's passing. I heard it two days prior to that day, reading and hearing the words, believing God was breaking me and preparing me for whatever He is going to do next. We played this at his service, the whole eight mins as …
Had a very eventful, fun and memory-making weekend with my family and the babies and seeing so many people I haven't seen in a long time... First, read about the main eventhere at my mom's blog.
Now you can see pictures that I took with my husband's 'older' Sony semi-fancy, fat lens camera that I got to play with and take several good shots. Tell me what you think. We went over to my parent's house first before the wedding reception to see them and my brother's family visiting from Vancouver for the weekend...